Wanna bet?
by justanotherkatica
Summary: Steve's understanding of dirty talk is different than Tony's.. nothing explicit, just some stony fluff, rated T for language, written for my fluffy friend


**Wanna bet?**

Afternoon sun filled the room with light, reflecting off of the glass surfaces and the walls. A peaceful feeling filled the air, something unusual for the Avengers Tower. Not that Tony Stark minded; it was a pleasant change from all the end-of-the-world, we're-all-gonna-die days. No, this was a different kind of day, one created for being lazy. And being lazy and lying on a bed was particularly enjoyable when the pillow was Captain America. More specifically, his stomach.  
Tony felt Steve shift underneath him, every breath Rogers took bringing his head up a little. He idly wondered if his boyfriend was sleeping. If he wasn't, then it was time to have some fun.  
"Steve?" Tony's voice pierced the silence, breaking the sleepy atmosphere.  
"Mhmm?" Steve responded.  
Tony didn't even have to look at him to know that his eyes were closed, his mind on the edge of falling asleep.  
"I want to test a theory. If I were to say 'talk dirty to me', what would you say back?"  
That got a soft chuckle out of Steve, one which Tony felt reverbate through his body.  
"Another bet with Nat?" Steve asked, stretching slowly.  
"Clint, actually. But good guess." Tony shifted his head so he could see Steve's face.  
He was smiling, but there was resignation in his eyes, like he'd already accepted this situation.  
"I already know how this ends," he started, turning his blue gaze towards the ceiling, "with you laughing at me, and me feeling like some old grandpa."  
"If it's any consolation, you look better than any grandpa I've ever seen." Tony's eyes were all soft honesty as he took hold of Steve's left hand and gently kissed the knuckles. Despite the countless battles they'd been in together, and another countless Steve'd been, his skin bore no scars.  
Just another advantage of being a super-soldier.  
"You think I'm that easy?" His super-soldier asked with a laugh. "It takes more than that to break me."  
"What, my sincere compliments aren't enough?"There was no missing the mock hurt in Tony's tone.  
"Okay, how about this?" He sat up, an action which drew a tiny frown from Steve - what, he liked the feeling of Tony lying against him- but it was quickly replaced by surprise, and then amusement as Tony stradled his hips and leaned forward. "Better?" he asked, a coy smile playing on his lips.  
Steve had to force himself to tear his gaze from those lips, which was especially hard when he knew firshand of what they were capable of. He somehow managed to blurt out "Um, yeah, it's-it's definitely better."  
"Alright, your turn, baby." Tony's voice dropped as his lips barely brushed against Steve's ear. "Talk dirty to me," he whispered.  
"I'll try, but no laughing." Steve cleared his throat, and concentrated. What would really set Tony Stark off, and in the best way? He couldn't hide the smile when he started speaking "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, ..."  
It's as far as Steve had managed to say before Tony burst out laughing. And it wasn't a small, weak laugh, either; Tony clutched his sides as he leaned back and actually managed to rock the bed. It didn't stop there. He had to steady himself as he got up to his knees and moved to stand up. He paused when Steve cleared his throat.  
"I don't know what's so funny, Stark," he began, staring at Tony with puppy eyes. "American values always get me going."  
His face was dead serious, and Tony couldn't help himself and began laughing again. His leg slipped and he tumbled to the floor with a thud, still laughing and wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes.  
Steve got up from the bed, and Tony straightened, wanting to apologize, but there was no trace of anger on Rogers's face. In fact, he seemed pleased with himself.  
"Barton!" Steve called out. "You owe me twenty bucks!"  
"What the f-" Tony started, but was interrupted by Clint walking in the room. A side-look from Steve told him he'd barely held back from saying "Language!"  
"How in the hell did you do that, Rogers? I thought there was no way…" Clint drifted off, looking at Tony who was still sitting on the floor. Well, the carpet.  
"Can someone explain to me what's going on?" Tony asked, standing up.  
"It's a funny story, actually. Clint told me about the bet you two made, and I bet him that I could make you fall off the bed from laughing." To his credit, Steve looked slightly ashamed now that he realized that it was… well, mean. Not Captain America - like. He felt Tony's hand snake around his waist and relaxed.  
"And were you familiar with the term 'dirty talk' before that?" Tony asked him.  
"Not exactly," Steve admitted. "The first thing that came to mind was to say you smell and should shower."  
Both Clint and Tony got a chuckle out of that, Tony pressing a kiss on Steve's cheek before turning back towards Clint.  
"So, Barton, that would mean you lost both bets, right?"  
"Oh, no, you're not doing this. It doesn't count."  
"Why not?" Steve asked, a mischevous glint in his eyes that Tony wasn't used to seeing. He liked it, though.  
"Well, because… because you knew about it, and- and it just wasn't fair," Clint tried to defend himself.  
"I'm not complaining," Tony counterjected. "So pay up, to me and the star-spangled banner here." He held out his hand, and Clint grudgingly grabbed a couple of bills from his wallet.  
"I preferred when you were at each other's throats all the time," he mumbled.  
"Oh, we are, just in a different way." Tony's hand lifted from Steve's waist to neck. "Wanna watch?"  
Clint left the room as fast as he could.  
Now it was Steve's turn to laugh, even if it was barely a few moments before Tony pulled him into a kiss. When they paused to catch their breaths, the glint in Steve's eyes was back.  
"What was that for?"  
"You're slowly becoming corrupted. I'm rubbing off on you, in more ways than one," Tony said with a waggle of his eyebrows.  
"You're despicable, you know that?" Steve pulled back and went to lie on the bed, followed by Tony.  
"One of my many flaws. That's why I got you, Mister Morality."  
"Hey, I can be a troublemaker!" Steve retorted.  
"Yeah, getting beaten up doesn't count."  
Sighing, Steve gave up on the discussion, opting instead for rolling atop of Tony and pinning him beneath his own body.  
"What the fuck are you doing, Steve?" Tony gasped, trying to squeeze free.  
"Who, me? I'm just relaxing." There was a wide grin on his face. "And watch your language, Anthony."  
"You overthawed popsicle, get off me!"  
"Come on, Tony, you're Iron Man, think of something. Until then, I'm going to just lie here."  
A moment of silence, then  
"I hate you."  
"Love you, too, Tony."


End file.
